4 Ways to Develop a Strong Sense of Self

“Stop acting so small,
you are the universe in ecstatic motion.”
-Rumi

There is often a question we all are trying to crack and it’s this, “how do we overcome self-doubt?” Having a sense of self can seem quite impossible adventure to reach at time. On the contrary is a lifelong project to figure out who you truly are, what values do you hold dear to you, and what speaks volume to your nature. Often times, yes, it is hard to know yourself fully well when you live in a culture that promotes a mix message of how we should act or who we should be and what we should gravitate towards to. Finding ones self can be quite challenging in a culture like this when it is hard to find your own voice in the midst of so many dominant ideas and opinions.

Now, let’s focus on how to get started with ways to develop a strong sense of self, even when there is conflicting ideas. Growing to know yourself and be known by others, you have to distinguish yourself by figuring out what your values, beliefs, and truths are, separating yourself from that of other people’s opinions about who should be. Start by implementing rules and changes for your life, instead of looking to others to decide for you. Are you tired of the constant looking over your shoulder, afraid of what people think? Are you overwhelmed in living a life that doesn’t align within your nature and value? Are you in a constant wishing state, hoping you don’t have to work so hard for other people’s approval? Do you feel like you don’t have the courage to express fully your feelings or have the ability to be happy with who you are? If so, then you know you aren’t living to your fullest potential of self-worth.
Here are some quick tips on ways to develop a strong and authentic sense of self:

Define who you are. Dive within, differentiate yourself from your environment, allows you to develop a sense of self awareness. Often times we tend to make drastic decisions that lands us back to square one. So, before you make any life changing decisions, you have to first figure out what is it that you want and how are you going to spend your time. If you know yourself like the back of your hand you tend to make decisions for yourself automatically, but it takes time to get there. The process to defining yourself can be a slow but rewarding process. Getting to know yourself, you have to remember takes effort and time dedicated daily in the decisions we make.

Develop a sense of self observation. When developing a sense of self observation, it is rewarding to maintain a constant dialog with yourself, finding new ways to be who you truly want to be. How can you achieve this level of connection with self? One, by becoming the observer of your own life, it helps you become more attuned with your inner self. Two, by taking a step back and evaluating your processes, thoughts, and feeling without having to react first. For example, if someone demands your attention on a specific task, you don’t have to feel pressured to complete that task right away. Instead, allow yourself time by saying, “I will get back to you shortly.” Doing this will give you ample time to consider your options, without having to compromise your decision or time. When we tend to respond quicker than we are to process the information being exchanged, we tend to lead in path of self-destruct. Quick response leads to unnecessary distractions and stress that forces us to do things we haven’t processed or thought out well for a proper execution for a greater impact. Often time a quick response leaves us in a panic and regretful mode, it is best to take your time to respond without feeling rushed.

Accept challenges as a way of knowing yourself. There is a saying that goes like this, “our best self are forged in the midst of difficult situations,” try to see challenges as an opportunity for you to decide who you are and what is it that you are capable of doing. As Helen Keller said, “Life is either a daring adventure of nothing at all.” Not aligning with your values, you deny yourself of the fulfilling pleasures of experiencing fully who you are in those circumstance. The way you carry yourself, by your attitude defines who you are. Without judgment, take time to evaluate your decision about what is it that gives you a sense of belonging within yourself; you start to develop knowledge of self. Often time, our situations makes who we are in the end, whether negative or positive they all serve as opportunity to understanding our weaknesses and strengths which in turns allows a complete focus of building our sense of self.

Act by implementing these steps in your life. Taking the necessary actions to consciously decide on improving your sense of self, starts by: a. Implementing the knowledge you’ve learned throughout this article, creating structure of self-importance, b. honestly having a 1-on-1 conversation with yourself, looking at past, present and future with the discomfort it may bring and accept the fact you can’t change everything but only the values that aligns with who you want to be, not by forcing anything to go your way, c. Take a deep look at your personal life and ask yourself are you happy with you who are or where you are without other people imposing their beliefs on you, d. If things doesn’t make sense to you don’t be quick to pull away from it, try to understand the message by staying connected to it and learn from it, e. Accept your own ideas, values, and self even if the odds are against you, f. Don’t take things at face value, don’t react too quick without understanding the real intentions behind them and act in way that best fit the person you are instead of responding to the idea others have of you.

Appreciate challenges, circumstance, and your interactions with people, it gives you the opportunity to fully embrace who you are, who you dare to become, and expressing you true self. How do you develop that sense of self? It is by being open to the possibilities that presents itself to you, taking certain action and see how they affect your emotions. With time, you will notice that acting in an authentic, self-aware and conscious way, it becomes a second nature and subconsciously you begin to strive for ways that fits your nature more naturally without having to force your way into fitting a closed nit culture. Subconsciously you start to develop a more accepting and loving person which is your Self.